My Testimony
Good evening everybody. I am a believer who struggles with alcohol and drug addiction. I started using drugs and alcohol from the age of 17. In High school, I was smoking marijuana before school in the mornings and considered it a medicine instead of a drug. I would use it to study, I would smoke every time my parents or a family member had a disagreement with me, every time I was told I couldn’t do something I would escape from reality and get high. It was my way of not dealing with life. I would go out and come home drunk every weekend until I was expelled for drinking a 5 litre bottle of wine by myself in the bathroom in high school. This was a wake-up call to start taking note of my destructive behaviour. I realised that I might have a problem but the feeling I got when I was drunk overwhelmed me. I tried to keep it in control. This never lasted very long. In college I continued to smoke and my drinking escalated to a point that I had been arrested for drinking and driving. I spent one night in the RANDBURG holding cell. My mother came and bailed me out the next morning, I remember she was so disappointed with me, but I didn’t really understand why. To me, these were things that typically happen to people who go out and party. So I was over it very quickly. When I turned 21 years old, towards the end of my College years I was introduced to cocaine by my good friends and we would go out and use until the early hours of the morning. I would sneak out of my bedroom window through the burglar bars once everybody had gone off to bed. Then my friends would pick me up, or if I had petrol in my car I would put the gate motor on manual, roll my car out, push it down the street and start the engine away from my house. We would then go and use and drink excessively, then sneak back into my house at like 5am. I continued using only on occasions, at social gatherings and only when I was with my friends. I was fortunate enough to go abroad and study in Switzerland and complete my degree in Hospitality Management. When I arrived in Switzerland I promised myself I would work harder and study harder than anyone student on the same programme as me. This wasn’t the case at all, as I quickly made friends with students from South Africa and Zimbabwe who knew the party traits just as well as I did. Things didn’t go as I planned as I found myself drinking, using and smoking weed (mentally I found myself right back at home). I got tested and failed a random drug test this should have been yet another wake-up call that I should have taken into consideration but I didn’t. My parents asked me nicely to stop all my nonsense and I chose not to listen to them. I managed to pass my first year and returned for my second year. In my second year I lost a very good friend to drinking and abusing drugs. This put me in a state of depression, I used more by myself and drank even more by myself. I figured I didn’t need to be around people anymore. I still don’t know how I did it but I managed to obtain my Bachelor’s Degree and returned to South Africa at the end of 2009. By Feb 2010 I had found a job in the US and away I went. Being alone and not having any supervision I continued to smoke drink and use drug. I had no friends but that didn’t stop me from going out and partying. I remember getting really drunk in a club by myself, I passed out and started having a seizure and they called an ambulance that had to rush me to hospital. I woke up in hospital and I didn’t know where I was or how I got there. The nurses told me that my BAC level was really high (I’m not going to say how high) but I could have easily died that day. I phoned work to lie to them that someone spiked my drink and I was in hospital. That was the first time I had ever missed work. It didn’t even phase me that I had just survived something incredibly stupid and how lucky I was. I managed to complete my one year In Atlanta still partying my life away. I returned back to South Africa and 3 months later I got a really good job at The Saxon boutique hotel and everything started great, still smoking marijuana. 1 year and a half later, I know found myself hanging out with a younger crowed that I had randomly met at truth partying by myself. The only thing we had in common was the love of the party life. I was introduced to kat, but I enjoyed cocaine. After 5months I lost my job due to poor performance and they even made it look good for my sake of finding another job, I told my whole family that I got retrenched. At this point I was a heavy user of Kat and hit my first 7 days without sleep. I quickly found another job at The Pallazzo at Monte Casino, where I was made a supervisor in Room service. The money was good, I eventually moved out from mom & dad and lived on my own. I used drugs at work, I used drugs after work. I left work and was going straight to truth and from truth back to work when I worked weekends. I never spent time in my own flat, and was always at my mates. I was now introduced to crystal meth and I myself knew for a fact that I had reached a new level of low. But I ignored my inner self. I was now enjoying doing different drugs simultaneously, and couldn’t control myself when I would use. I was loud and bubby and was always in a crowd of very intoxicated people. The urges controlled me. When I ran out of money I started pawning my cell phone, my microwave, my TV and other equipment just before payday. On pay day I would had to go and buy my stuff back. Leaving me with not a lot of money for the month. I once snuck into my parents’ house in the middle of the night to steal cell phones, a TV and other stuff to sell and get more drugs. Not thinking twice about the consequences. I had lost my job for a second time this time it was due to me not meeting deadlines because I simply didn’t care. I didn’t even appreciate the fact that my parents furnished my whole apartment for me. After losing my second job I had to move back in with my parents. I stopped using because I knew I had a very big and uncontrollable problem. So did my parents. Who helped me buy most of my things back from the pawn shop. I sat at home getting clean and going to church and gyming. After 4 months of staying clean I eventually found a Job at the Westcliffe Hotel. After my first salary I went straight and bought my drugs of choice smoke marijuana that was my routine and drink alcohol until I passed out. I would drive to a park, lock myself in my car by myself and listen to music and intoxicate myself. My attitude towards other people was that I didn’t want to be around other people because they would lecture me about my problem and also the squabbles that are always associated with people that use, all the arguing and fighting I did not want to be a part of that, I also got very hurt and felt used most of the time by my friends didn’t want to be associated with people that did drugs because I saw how bad others saw them (and also saw me), so if I did it alone by myself I lied to myself thinking it was okay to not let anyone see you doing drugs. I would outrun the police on the streets drive past at small roadblocks and would wait for cops to chase me. I enjoyed the thrill of driving out of control and I never got caught. I would drive in on the wrong side of the road in oncoming traffic just to get away from the cops and laugh about it afterwards. I eventually lost my 3rd Job because I disappeared from work for 5 days and switched my cell phone off. During my days absence from work I met a guy and a girl out on a random night who invited me to a memorial park where some very strange things happened that felt really unreal to me and I will never forget this verse from Psalms 23:23 The lord is my Sheppard I have everything I need. He lets me rest in fields of green grass and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water. He gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths, as he has promised. Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, Lord, for you are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff protect me. You prepare a banquet for me, where all my enemies can see me, you welcome me as an honoured guest and fill my cup the brim. I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life, and you house will be my home as long as I live. I don’t really want to mention what had happened to me. But I know for sure that God kept me safe during that deep and dark moment. My relationship with God was very poor at the time but coming from a Christian family that always attended church on a Sunday I began to pray to God and I believe he heard me that day. After that incident a few days later, my mother tricked me and got me to get into her car. We were supposedly going to visit someone she knew that had gone through the same struggles as what was happening to me, in the meantime I was actually going to rehab. I lasted one day, I don’t know how but a using friend found me, phoned the rehab I was in and asked the lady to pass the phone to me and asked me if I wanted to get out, I said yes and within ten minutes he was outside, I packed my bags and jumped into his car and we went on for another month of using and abusing drugs & alcohol. My mom managed to find me after living with my friend for a month, she threatened to call the cops on me. I went back home to live with my parents. My family decided that I needed professional help and I enrolled at NA, only to last 37 days clean after relapsing yet again. I sat at home getting clean again and not going out attending church 3 days a week. I noticed a pattern before, I would get clean, find a job and immediately after pay day or the second month of pay day I would go absolutely crazy and go mental for drugs. This needed to stop because I desperately wanted my old self back, I forgot the person I was because I knew that this wasn’t me. I was scaring my family, I didn’t recognize myself I finally found a job at Little Tuscany after another 5 months of being clean sitting at home. After just three months of working there I went on another drug binge, right on pay day. This time it really went out of hand, I literally used all my salary in one weekend, when money was finished I sold every item of clothing that I had to petrol attendants, when I bought from my dealers and they didn’t one of my choice I substituted one drug for anything I could get and this lead me to using Heroin and I didn’t even know it until the next day and the withdrawals almost killed I didn’t even think twice the second time doing it. When I returned home my father said to me that I looked like I was 50 years old I looked so bad. I went down on my knees crying and begging my father to help me as I know that this would eventually kill me one day and I don’t want to die like this. I will never forget the feeling I felt that day, the feeling of death, the feeling of not being able to stop doing drugs, worst of all the feeling that it controlled me and me not it. This was my rock bottom. The very next day, Monday 30 September 2013, my father took me to get an implant against drugs and alcohol. That was my 1st day clean because my father helped me I knew that it wouldn’t be my last day clean. I returned to work 3 days after calling in sick because I looked like a skeleton, my boss knew what I was up to and called me into his office and told me to leave my job or attend Mighty Wings and then after some time of showing commitment I would get my job back. I was angry disappointed at myself also very embarrassed, so I took the 2nd option of not losing my job. Here at Mighty Wings I can say that my relationship has grown drastically with Jesus Christ he has helped me rebuild my relationship with all my family members who came very close to writing me off. It helped me forget all about my bad friends which I seriously struggled with. By working the program here at Mighty Wings, my family doesn’t have to worry about hiding all valuables in the house, my mother doesn’t have to worry about another pay day that I will disappear for days, I can now save money, I have been able to afford my own medical aid, I am able to manage my own financials with the aid of doing a monthly budget, I am paying my own bills, I have stopped old habits like using very bad language and coming up with new ones, I quit all smoking, my cravings for drugs and alcohol has decreased ever since I have been on this programme and I feel more comfortable talking to someone when I have a craving. I manage my anger in a more healthy way. If there is one thing that really touched my heart me here at Mighty Wings, it would be the GAP programme & anger management course. I found the GAP lesson really educational and regarding GAP I haven’t lost my temper or raised my voice at anyone or anything in almost a year now. God has allowed me to have a more genuine relationship with the others. I don’t approach people unless I know them, in other words I don’t just approach random people and have a fat conversation like I have grown up like kids with them. I am able to have better conversations and carry better conversations with people now. The selling of items to anybody on the side of the road is long gone, I now work hard and reward myself by buying myself really awesome and cool things. I don’t take risks driving like a maniac on the roads, I try and follow the rules on the road as I can. I don’t go out at night looking for the fun and party life because I have accepted that it will kill me. My walk with God has been closer than ever before I found that I am a lot more conscious of doing bad things and try do more good things. The greatest benefit that I have received from working the programme is that I thought I would come onto this programme to keep me job but what this programme has done for me personally it’s given me a second chance to be a better son, a better brother and most importantly a better servant to god. I never thought I would make it out of my rock bottom, I believed that this was who I was and I couldn’t change. I didn’t want to change – I thank mighty wings for this programme that has given me my life back. I am less angry at myself and at the world. To the new comer, I encourage you to put your head down and work hard on this programme, you will not enjoy the first 100 days but the discipline, skills and methods taught on this programme is invaluable.
Good evening everybody. I am a believer who struggles with alcohol and drug addiction. I started using drugs and alcohol from the age of 17. In High school, I was smoking marijuana before school in the mornings and considered it a medicine instead of a drug. I would use it to study, I would smoke every time my parents or a family member had a disagreement with me, every time I was told I couldn’t do something I would escape from reality and get high. It was my way of not dealing with life. I would go out and come home drunk every weekend until I was expelled for drinking a 5 litre bottle of wine by myself in the bathroom in high school. This was a wake-up call to start taking note of my destructive behaviour. I realised that I might have a problem but the feeling I got when I was drunk overwhelmed me. I tried to keep it in control. This never lasted very long. In college I continued to smoke and my drinking escalated to a point that I had been arrested for drinking and driving. I spent one night in the RANDBURG holding cell. My mother came and bailed me out the next morning, I remember she was so disappointed with me, but I didn’t really understand why. To me, these were things that typically happen to people who go out and party. So I was over it very quickly. When I turned 21 years old, towards the end of my College years I was introduced to cocaine by my good friends and we would go out and use until the early hours of the morning. I would sneak out of my bedroom window through the burglar bars once everybody had gone off to bed. Then my friends would pick me up, or if I had petrol in my car I would put the gate motor on manual, roll my car out, push it down the street and start the engine away from my house. We would then go and use and drink excessively, then sneak back into my house at like 5am. I continued using only on occasions, at social gatherings and only when I was with my friends. I was fortunate enough to go abroad and study in Switzerland and complete my degree in Hospitality Management. When I arrived in Switzerland I promised myself I would work harder and study harder than anyone student on the same programme as me. This wasn’t the case at all, as I quickly made friends with students from South Africa and Zimbabwe who knew the party traits just as well as I did. Things didn’t go as I planned as I found myself drinking, using and smoking weed (mentally I found myself right back at home). I got tested and failed a random drug test this should have been yet another wake-up call that I should have taken into consideration but I didn’t. My parents asked me nicely to stop all my nonsense and I chose not to listen to them. I managed to pass my first year and returned for my second year. In my second year I lost a very good friend to drinking and abusing drugs. This put me in a state of depression, I used more by myself and drank even more by myself. I figured I didn’t need to be around people anymore. I still don’t know how I did it but I managed to obtain my Bachelor’s Degree and returned to South Africa at the end of 2009. By Feb 2010 I had found a job in the US and away I went. Being alone and not having any supervision I continued to smoke drink and use drug. I had no friends but that didn’t stop me from going out and partying. I remember getting really drunk in a club by myself, I passed out and started having a seizure and they called an ambulance that had to rush me to hospital. I woke up in hospital and I didn’t know where I was or how I got there. The nurses told me that my BAC level was really high (I’m not going to say how high) but I could have easily died that day. I phoned work to lie to them that someone spiked my drink and I was in hospital. That was the first time I had ever missed work. It didn’t even phase me that I had just survived something incredibly stupid and how lucky I was. I managed to complete my one year In Atlanta still partying my life away. I returned back to South Africa and 3 months later I got a really good job at The Saxon boutique hotel and everything started great, still smoking marijuana. 1 year and a half later, I know found myself hanging out with a younger crowed that I had randomly met at truth partying by myself. The only thing we had in common was the love of the party life. I was introduced to kat, but I enjoyed cocaine. After 5months I lost my job due to poor performance and they even made it look good for my sake of finding another job, I told my whole family that I got retrenched. At this point I was a heavy user of Kat and hit my first 7 days without sleep. I quickly found another job at The Pallazzo at Monte Casino, where I was made a supervisor in Room service. The money was good, I eventually moved out from mom & dad and lived on my own. I used drugs at work, I used drugs after work. I left work and was going straight to truth and from truth back to work when I worked weekends. I never spent time in my own flat, and was always at my mates. I was now introduced to crystal meth and I myself knew for a fact that I had reached a new level of low. But I ignored my inner self. I was now enjoying doing different drugs simultaneously, and couldn’t control myself when I would use. I was loud and bubby and was always in a crowd of very intoxicated people. The urges controlled me. When I ran out of money I started pawning my cell phone, my microwave, my TV and other equipment just before payday. On pay day I would had to go and buy my stuff back. Leaving me with not a lot of money for the month. I once snuck into my parents’ house in the middle of the night to steal cell phones, a TV and other stuff to sell and get more drugs. Not thinking twice about the consequences. I had lost my job for a second time this time it was due to me not meeting deadlines because I simply didn’t care. I didn’t even appreciate the fact that my parents furnished my whole apartment for me. After losing my second job I had to move back in with my parents. I stopped using because I knew I had a very big and uncontrollable problem. So did my parents. Who helped me buy most of my things back from the pawn shop. I sat at home getting clean and going to church and gyming. After 4 months of staying clean I eventually found a Job at the Westcliffe Hotel. After my first salary I went straight and bought my drugs of choice smoke marijuana that was my routine and drink alcohol until I passed out. I would drive to a park, lock myself in my car by myself and listen to music and intoxicate myself. My attitude towards other people was that I didn’t want to be around other people because they would lecture me about my problem and also the squabbles that are always associated with people that use, all the arguing and fighting I did not want to be a part of that, I also got very hurt and felt used most of the time by my friends didn’t want to be associated with people that did drugs because I saw how bad others saw them (and also saw me), so if I did it alone by myself I lied to myself thinking it was okay to not let anyone see you doing drugs. I would outrun the police on the streets drive past at small roadblocks and would wait for cops to chase me. I enjoyed the thrill of driving out of control and I never got caught. I would drive in on the wrong side of the road in oncoming traffic just to get away from the cops and laugh about it afterwards. I eventually lost my 3rd Job because I disappeared from work for 5 days and switched my cell phone off. During my days absence from work I met a guy and a girl out on a random night who invited me to a memorial park where some very strange things happened that felt really unreal to me and I will never forget this verse from Psalms 23:23 The lord is my Sheppard I have everything I need. He lets me rest in fields of green grass and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water. He gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths, as he has promised. Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, Lord, for you are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff protect me. You prepare a banquet for me, where all my enemies can see me, you welcome me as an honoured guest and fill my cup the brim. I know that your goodness and love will be with me all my life, and you house will be my home as long as I live. I don’t really want to mention what had happened to me. But I know for sure that God kept me safe during that deep and dark moment. My relationship with God was very poor at the time but coming from a Christian family that always attended church on a Sunday I began to pray to God and I believe he heard me that day. After that incident a few days later, my mother tricked me and got me to get into her car. We were supposedly going to visit someone she knew that had gone through the same struggles as what was happening to me, in the meantime I was actually going to rehab. I lasted one day, I don’t know how but a using friend found me, phoned the rehab I was in and asked the lady to pass the phone to me and asked me if I wanted to get out, I said yes and within ten minutes he was outside, I packed my bags and jumped into his car and we went on for another month of using and abusing drugs & alcohol. My mom managed to find me after living with my friend for a month, she threatened to call the cops on me. I went back home to live with my parents. My family decided that I needed professional help and I enrolled at NA, only to last 37 days clean after relapsing yet again. I sat at home getting clean again and not going out attending church 3 days a week. I noticed a pattern before, I would get clean, find a job and immediately after pay day or the second month of pay day I would go absolutely crazy and go mental for drugs. This needed to stop because I desperately wanted my old self back, I forgot the person I was because I knew that this wasn’t me. I was scaring my family, I didn’t recognize myself I finally found a job at Little Tuscany after another 5 months of being clean sitting at home. After just three months of working there I went on another drug binge, right on pay day. This time it really went out of hand, I literally used all my salary in one weekend, when money was finished I sold every item of clothing that I had to petrol attendants, when I bought from my dealers and they didn’t one of my choice I substituted one drug for anything I could get and this lead me to using Heroin and I didn’t even know it until the next day and the withdrawals almost killed I didn’t even think twice the second time doing it. When I returned home my father said to me that I looked like I was 50 years old I looked so bad. I went down on my knees crying and begging my father to help me as I know that this would eventually kill me one day and I don’t want to die like this. I will never forget the feeling I felt that day, the feeling of death, the feeling of not being able to stop doing drugs, worst of all the feeling that it controlled me and me not it. This was my rock bottom. The very next day, Monday 30 September 2013, my father took me to get an implant against drugs and alcohol. That was my 1st day clean because my father helped me I knew that it wouldn’t be my last day clean. I returned to work 3 days after calling in sick because I looked like a skeleton, my boss knew what I was up to and called me into his office and told me to leave my job or attend Mighty Wings and then after some time of showing commitment I would get my job back. I was angry disappointed at myself also very embarrassed, so I took the 2nd option of not losing my job. Here at Mighty Wings I can say that my relationship has grown drastically with Jesus Christ he has helped me rebuild my relationship with all my family members who came very close to writing me off. It helped me forget all about my bad friends which I seriously struggled with. By working the program here at Mighty Wings, my family doesn’t have to worry about hiding all valuables in the house, my mother doesn’t have to worry about another pay day that I will disappear for days, I can now save money, I have been able to afford my own medical aid, I am able to manage my own financials with the aid of doing a monthly budget, I am paying my own bills, I have stopped old habits like using very bad language and coming up with new ones, I quit all smoking, my cravings for drugs and alcohol has decreased ever since I have been on this programme and I feel more comfortable talking to someone when I have a craving. I manage my anger in a more healthy way. If there is one thing that really touched my heart me here at Mighty Wings, it would be the GAP programme & anger management course. I found the GAP lesson really educational and regarding GAP I haven’t lost my temper or raised my voice at anyone or anything in almost a year now. God has allowed me to have a more genuine relationship with the others. I don’t approach people unless I know them, in other words I don’t just approach random people and have a fat conversation like I have grown up like kids with them. I am able to have better conversations and carry better conversations with people now. The selling of items to anybody on the side of the road is long gone, I now work hard and reward myself by buying myself really awesome and cool things. I don’t take risks driving like a maniac on the roads, I try and follow the rules on the road as I can. I don’t go out at night looking for the fun and party life because I have accepted that it will kill me. My walk with God has been closer than ever before I found that I am a lot more conscious of doing bad things and try do more good things. The greatest benefit that I have received from working the programme is that I thought I would come onto this programme to keep me job but what this programme has done for me personally it’s given me a second chance to be a better son, a better brother and most importantly a better servant to god. I never thought I would make it out of my rock bottom, I believed that this was who I was and I couldn’t change. I didn’t want to change – I thank mighty wings for this programme that has given me my life back. I am less angry at myself and at the world. To the new comer, I encourage you to put your head down and work hard on this programme, you will not enjoy the first 100 days but the discipline, skills and methods taught on this programme is invaluable.