COMMITTMENT
 
For me Recovery is all about commitment and the question is Are you committed?
Commitment is a popular word in religious circles, when you commit yourself to God, you commit yourself to obey him – with commitment comes responsibility!
What is commitment?
In simplest terms, a commitment is a state or quality of being dedicated to a cause or activity. Example: God and Recovery
Proverbs 3 Verse 5-8
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health and nourishment to your bones”
I know when I came into Recovery I was given a list of which I had to arrange in order for personal priorities.
Career   ………….
Family……………
Church…………..
Christ…………….
Friendships…………..
Money………….
Ministry…………..
I know from my own experience that Christ was neither my first or second choice in my priorities list
Relying solely on our own understanding got most of us into recovery in the first place. After we make the decision to ask Jesus into our lives, we need to begin to seek his will for our lives in all our decisions. We need to get to know him and learn what he wants for us.
Above all- We must Love Jesus above everything and everyone on earth, we must put him first!
Matthew 16 Verses 24 to 26
“Jesus demonstrated commitment. He committed himself to God by living righteously, and by suffering in order to bear our sins upon the cross.”
Here is some thoughts I would like to leave you with:
 
We are either committed to Jesus or the world?
To whom are you committed?
Are you committed to Christ?
Have you given yourself to God?
 
“If I am committed to God
I’ll put him first
I’ll serve him in everything that I do
I’ll give myself to him and his judgement
I’ll work in his Kingdom, without distraction from this world
I’ll trust him, rather than worry about the things I cannot control
I’ll cast my cares upon him, and trust him to deal with my problems
I won’t be afraid to die
God will take care of me, and my Loved ones
I’ll live in heaven for Eternity
    AMEN”

The smartest people are those who don’t feel the need to tell you all they know. The most accomplished people are those who don’t feel the need to talk about all they’ve done.
Build on what you know rather than smugly sitting on it and talking about it. Listen, truly listen, and you will learn.
Make good and generous use of your achievements and you won’t have to announce them. Find fulfillment not in seeking praise but in working to have a meaningful, positive affect on the world.
Be smarter, richer, more satisfied and more at peace with life by being genuinely humble. Get your ego out of the way of your ability to bring great value to life.
Genuine humility is smart. Genuine humility is powerful in a way that benefits all of life.
Be smart, and powerful, and a creator of great value. Get beyond the confines of your ego and, with true humility, live a life that lifts up all the world.
 
— Ralph Marston

​My Name is Rauri Keogh.
I am a recovering addict who knows that my struggle was no coincidence.
What was the insanity of my life before recovery?
Before recovery I sought to fill a void in my heart. So I started looking for the thing that could fill this gaping hole in all the artificial areas that were placed in my path, Artificial friends, nope wasn’t that, then artificial happiness in a bottle, still not what I was looking for and then artificial euphoria, now I must admit, for a while there I thought I had found it, but it still wasn’t what was going to make me whole, but finally I found it!!! Here is my journey to grace and finding the face of the REAL, LIVING, antidote to my problem, JESUS.
 
Now we all have that one person we look up to as a child, after my parents separation at the age of about 13 I only had my sisters, the one was working hard, whether it was for school or after school while trying to get her LLB, always studying and doing assignments… really asserting herself, now I am not saying for a minute that the other wasn’t working hard, she was studying to become a hairdresser, but let’s just say she was more of a socializer. She drank and went out, not often but she did. Now because of the picture the world paints, this was COOL, I needed to be just like her.
Now following her was one thing, but I needed to step it up a level, by the age of 14 I was out every weekend drinking, and smoking a joint on the rare occasion. As the year progressed so did the drinking and smoking, all my “friends” were doing it why shouldn’t I??  At the age of about 16 drinking was not the “high” I was looking for, and to be quite honest Dagga wasn’t either, I still smoked dagga regularly but I was on to bigger things, not better, but bigger.  My lack of knowledge sparked a dangerous curiosity, I started using anything I could get my hands on, almost as if I was searching for the drug that was the best so that I could abuse it. I tried everything from shrooms to LSD to Thai white. But one day I found the “one” I was looking for, a guy I went to college with offered me CAT, I used it once and knew that it was the drug I was going to use from now on.
 My using progressed to a point where I was using over R1400.00 a day to support my habit, now this was money I did not have, at first I had made friends with one of the dealers runners, he “knew that I would pay him back” so he gave me as much as I needed but on credit. I would sell my own stuff, or my mother and fathers stuff to pay him back, purely to keep the relationship, or more-so the understanding alive that he can trust me. This was the worst decision I had ever made, this got me accustomed and hooked on using 6 – 7 R200.00 bags a day. It got so bad that the first time I was fired from my job (working for my father) I had nowhere to stay as I was staying with him at that time, I would go and spend a days and days at a time at my dealers house, the deal was I could use for free as long as I went and picked up stock in Pretoria. What is crazy is that I never thought out the consequences of getting caught with close to a million Rand worth of CAT in my car. I did not get caught doing this, and it was short lived as I only went twice to do this. My easily funded addiction stopped one day when I walked into my dealers house, and there lying on the floor was the runner, shot dead, with his mouth cut open at his cheeks and drug packets shoved in his mouth.  I was so paranoid I didn’t phone the police, because I was scared they would think it was me, I phoned the main dealer instead.
 
 
 
After this I had to pay for all I was using before I could get it, my life became the worst it had ever been from here. Me and the friend that introduced me to drugs started small crimes, like conning people into thinking we owned a business dealing in scrap metal and taking the scrap metal from them saying we will pay money into their account as soon as the “metal was weighed”. Then we started stealing gas bottles from other people’s houses, then we started gaining entry into people’s houses and stealing anything of worth, mainly jewellery as it was small and easy to get away with.
 
My turning point started in 2011 in November/December.  It started when me and some friends were scamming Nigerians in Kempton, we would put paper in a rolled up R10 note and give it to the Nigerian and as he gave us the drugs we would drive off, until one Nigerian we tried to scam caught us out too soon and as we drove away he started to shoot at us, I was sitting in the back seat and a bullet went through the boot of the car and came straight through the middle seat, right next to me. Now that I think back I know that it was all God, He is the reason I am still alive today and - for the most part- he kept my looks intact as well.
This scared me to the point where I was in depression, I was planning to move to Ireland at the end of that year, but the money my father had given me to pay for my passport I had spent on drugs, my father found out that I had not gone to pay for my passport, and he questioned me about it, for the first time In a long time I was honest, I said to him that I have a problem with drugs. He kept me locked in my house for about two weeks before he found Mighty Wings, but even though I was locked in my house I found a way to get drugs to me. On 11December 2011 I went to Mighty Wings and tested positive for almost everything. The truth came out.
I attended Mighty Wings for almost 5 months, but I was only clean for about 90 days of that, I started using with someone on the program and eventually got caught, I went to Enochs Walk for 5 months thereafter and met another guy who used to be on the program, the day we got out, which we strategically planned to be the same day, we used again. After about 2 months I met up with my old friend from college and started using Chrystal meth, the crime and lies and using just escalated from there, for the next year of my life I was in and out of Mighty Wings and relapsed 4 or 5 times more, this time not facing my consequences. Until the day that changed my life, I was now earning a salary and working for my father again, I was still doing crime at night because I loved the rush. And then one night I sat in my car outside of my best friend Shaun’s house after he had told me that he wanted nothing to do with me until I stopped using drugs. I did something I hadn’t ever done sincerely before, I prayed and said “God if you are real dude, help me out here” I’ll never forget that prayer. A few hours later I got a call from my dad, I had to go and see him. He had found a straw on the floor at my desk and was firing me again.  That night I cried my eyes out, like a little girl, I felt like there was no point. The next morning I got my mother to drive me to Enochs walk again, I was there for almost a month. I had been making friends with a youth pastor there named Allistair, I still wasn’t a believer but we chatted about our different beliefs and he never pushed the bible down my throat.
One day Allistair was baptising people in the river, I was just watching, the next thing I knew I was walking in, fully clothed my jeans and shoes on, all of my goods in my pocket. He knew what was happening I think, he said do you receive Jesus as your lord and Savior I do. He baptized me and after a week God made his plans clear to me.
 
I Left Enochs Walk prematurely and went straight back to Mighty Wings, but for good this time.
I started the program and in the day I was doing volunteer work for Mighty Wings, I worked about 3000 volunteer hours for them and at the same time was doing my recovery, this time I was serious.
 
I believe my recovery never worked before because I never had a true relationship with Christ, He was that void I was trying to fill and boy did he fill it, my cup overflows to this day.
 
As I was working the program I met Christ I found a church, I changed my life style. I started working at Mighty Wings and seeing the people who came in change in front of my eyes, that was daily inspiration for my journey on recovery, the program and the people helped me and it felt like the lessons we did were perfect because often I would be struggling with the problem that the lesson was on that very day. The key people who helped me in my recovery were Nico Nel, the hard hand that I listened to and respected, Uncle Valdi who was the wise man who was calm and told me truth no matter how hard it was to hear and Ps. Kenneth, my mentor, I am currently almost 2 years clean and out of the Mighty Wings program and I still go to him for advice in certain areas.
My favourite lesson was the 100 day epowered recovery program, if memory serves me correctly it was lesson 9 that dealt with finances, this was an immediate reality check as one of the excersizes is to calculate on average the amount of money you spent on your addiction, + - 8 years in addiction, R1400.00 a day, you do the math.
 
The new me is someone who is seeking the father heart of God, I started going to a church and found that I Love it with all my heart because of the spiritual food I get from there, as well as the spirit being in charge there, every single person is REAL, they know that there is grace and they know they have all messed up but Jesus loves them. I met my soon to be wife in the church and took up a Godly relationship with her, she is amazing, a true blessing and support, she is beautiful and is after Jesus, she knows that He is her first love and I could never free her from bondage like He did, and that is important, Our first love is Christ, and as we seek Christ we will find each other more, because we are hidden in Him. I am also the youth leader and a life group leader within my church, I have my own business, as well as doing work for Mighty Wings on the side. I have restored my relationships with my Mother, who was a massive role in my recovery as she supported me in Mighty wings, With my father as well, who never gave up, and my sister and nephews and nieces.
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus;…
 
My advice for a new beginner is. Don’t give up, Find God find yourself.
Stick to your recovery at all times the thing you put before your recovery will be the first thing you lose in a relapse.
Remember Christ in you the hope of glory, and though 1000 may fall at your side and 10 000 may fall at your right you will not be harmed. Stay firm in Christ and stick to your recovery plan, leave the old friends and old life behind you and look to Jesus who is in front of you.

​My name is Jackie de Boer and I am a believer who struggles with a drug addiction.
As a child I thought I had a relatively normal life, when I was 10 that all changed. My parents got a divorce and my dad took a job in Saudi Arabia and left my sister & I with our real mom here in joburg. My real mom has a mental illness and refuses to take medication allowing it to become progressively and continuously worse. This illness lead her to be very abusive and hateful at times and then to be very caring and loving at other times.
In the beginning she would leave me alone and her wrath would always be aimed at my older sister. I would watch her beat my sister until she was on the ground in a fetal position screaming at my mom to stop and shouting sorry for something she was not guilty of. I would listen to our real mom call her fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, unlovable and many more hateful things. My sister wanted to protect me from her and would tell me to stay in my room until she told me to come out. Even safe in my room I could hear everything that happened and I remember being terrified. I watched this chaos destroy my sister and I watched her turn to drugs to escape the pain. When our dad came back from Saudi Arabia my sister went to go and live with him and I still stayed with our real mom.
The years of watching our mom abuse my sister had hardened my heart towards her. At the age of 12 I saw our mom as a monster and the source of pure evil.
What was to follow was her abuse towards me and mine towards her.
I was 13 by the time my real mom had directed her wrath towards me. She would beat me and shout hateful words to me every day, I had now become the fat, ugly, stupid, worthless and unlovable one to her. I had no friends because I was too ashamed to let anyone see what I went through. My addiction also began at this time. I had already started drinking and smoking weed, the smoking weed was at least once a day every day. The substance numbed the pain my mother created, it made me feel confident and invincible. I used this new found confidence to fight my mom back. Whenever she started a fight with me I would scream back at her and call her useless, stupid, worthless and unlovable. For every time she hit me I would hit her harder and more times and when she started crying I would shout at her and tell her she had made me like this. I would use her illness as a tool to manipulate her into getting what I wanted out of her. I also began to mimic her suicidal behaviour when I didn’t get what I wanted from her or even life itself. By the time I was 15 I had no conscience, only a heart filled with hate and a very convincing mask that said it was all ok. I had been raped and all my relationships had been filled with lies and cheating.
My mom left me when I was in grade 10 and I went to go and stay with my dad. I moved to a new school where I was the outcast for coming from a government school and having a mom that had left me. I pretended not to care but I really did. I started using KAT to hide the pain that I felt every day. I just felt more and more alone and I was using every day by the age of 17. In matric I swapped my drug addiction for alcoholism, this being the more socially acceptable substance I wasn’t as shunned by my peers anymore but my addiction had become much stronger than me so it wasn’t long before everyone in my school noticed that I was permanently drunk or hung over and shunned me again. I managed to somehow barely pass matric.
I lived in a world in which I didn’t trust anyone and I lived by a rule which was you will never hurt me because I will always hurt you first. I was very aggressive and I was always involved in fights at every party. At one party I beat up a random girl, her mother wanted to press charges against me but luckily she never knew my name so I managed to dodge that bullet.
When I was 19 I became involved in a drug syndicate. I would transport large amounts of drugs to and from clubs, carry the drugs into the clubs and distribute them to the runners. I would use the money to buy my drug of choice. By this time I was eating once a week, barely sleeping or bathing and I would drive out tanks of petrol to get away from a car that I thought was always following me(that car was a product from my sleep deprivation and paranoia, it wasn’t real).
I believed God had done this to me, I told myself that he had cursed me and didn’t love me. I saw him as the source of my pain because he had created my mom and made my dad leave her. I thought that the world hated me and wanted to destroy me. I eventually deleted all of my friends from all social media and wouldn’t leave my house due to being paranoid that they were all out to get me.
At the beginning of October 2012 I was home alone. I was so broken and I couldn’t go on any longer. I bought 3 boxes of disprin and I drank them all. I remember the pain that I felt in my soul and the desperation. Before I passed out I remember praying, I don’t know why but I did. I told God that I couldn’t do it anymore and that I needed his help, I told him I didn’t want to die but I didn’t see any other way. I must’ve been passed out for a few hours and something somehow woke me up. I felt an intense pain surge through my back, the memory is very foggy but I do remember your liver starting to fail is extremely unpleasant and painful. I managed to get hold of a friend who came to my house and called an ambulance to take me to hospital.
My one friend who came to visit me in the hospital, who was an intense crystal meth addict himself decided that my time as a druggie had to come to an end. while I was still in the hospital he told me that when I get out he is going to come with me to tell my dad and that I was going to rehab whether I like it or not. That is exactly what happened, when I got out of hospital he came with me to my dad and I told my dad about my addiction and that I needed rehab. On the 28th October 2012 I was a resident at the Drug Educational Council in Noupoort.
God had heard my prayer that night and He was there with me. So not knowing anything about God I kept praying every day. I learnt that I didn’t have to hate or hurt everyone and I learnt that the pain that I endured from a young age was because we live in a fallen world & it was a product of my mother’s own wrong choices not because I deserved it or because God hated me.
The first scripture that I read was Romans 15:1,”we that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves.”
It showed me that God calls us to help each other not to hurt each other and when I read that I started to trust him. I became joyful and content the more time I spent in the Word.
During my stay at DEC I met my ex-boyfriend. Against Andre and Nicolas will we began a relationship when we left DEC. he relapsed a week later and I relapsed a month later. We entered full blown addiction immediately. He taught me how to spike and I fell in love with it. In an attempt to hide it from our parents we moved to east London where everything became a million times worse overnight. In the 3months of us being together I had also become a heroin addict (he didn’t tell me that he was giving me heroine but he was mixing heroine in with the KAT).
He used to hit me and call me stupid. I could only use if he thought I had earned it and if he didn’t think that I had earned it I would have to withdraw all night without knowing why I was in so much pain and if I complained he would hit me. Eventually after my fifth overdose( I only realised that I had overdosed on heroine when I got back to DEC and Nicola told me that it was an overdose) I phoned my step mom and told her what was happening and I went back to DEC. when I re-entered recovery I felt more shame than ever before.
I cried to God every night and He reminded me of everything that he had taught me in his Word. Mathew 4:4,” Jesus answered, The Scriptures say; No one can live only on food. People need every word that God has spoken.”
I have learnt to listen to wise council, Proverbs 15:22,”Without counsel purposes are disappointed; but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.” and that it’s not about the mistakes we make but what we learn from them and how we grow from those lessons. Romans 8:28,” And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.”
Over the past 2years I have faced many struggles and accomplished many triumphs. James 1:12,” God will bless you, if you don’t give up when your faith is being tested. He will reward you with a glorious life, just as He rewards everyone who loves Him.”
My parents have started to trust me and I have started to see the world through more joyful eyes. 1Chronicles 16:27,” Honour and majesty are found in his presence; strength and joy are found in his sanctuary.”
Even though it’s still hard I’ve begun to see challenges as an opportunity to grow and not a reason to fall. James 1:2-4,” My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything.”
I’ve learnt to accept situations and people for who and what they are and not to manipulate everyone so that I can be in control and have my own way. Romans 15:7,” Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ accepted us to the glory of God.”
I’ve learnt to be honest with the people in my life and myself.
I’ve learnt to forgive.2Corinthians 2:7-8,”when people sin you should forgive and comfort them, so they won’t give up in despair. You should make them sure of your love for them.”
Most importantly to forgive myself for who I was and what I did so that I can move forward from the past and let it go.
I’m glad to say that God is my best friend and through him I am renewed and restored each and every day.
I share my heart with Him and all though some days I stray I always turn back to him because I remember the night I cried out and He came to rescue me. Jonah2:2,”when I was in trouble, Lord, I prayed to you, and you listened to me. From deep in the world of the dead, I begged for your help, and you answered my prayer.”
Mighty Wings has taught me to accountable and to see & stop a problem before it becomes a problem.
I find great comfort in having a support group that I can relate to and share my struggles without being judged.
I still have difficulties and I make mistakes everyday but I don’t let that discourage me but instead encourage me to lean in closer to God.
 
I stand here today 1year and 7days clean and sober and I have never felt more alive and free than ever before. This is all thanks to God and his wonderful mercy and grace.
I want to leave you all with something that Andre taught me. Recovery is not about the things of this world, it is about the change that transpires in our hearts because we choose to give our lives to our saviour, The Lord Jesus Christ.
Ezekiel 36:26,” I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Romans 8:18, For I consider that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

My name is Riaan Nieuwenhuizen and I’m a believer who struggles with drug and alcohol addiction. At the age of 15 I had my first experience with alcohol in that I played club cricket and part of the fine committee was drinking beer, I did not realise the effect it would have on me as I grew older. At the age of 16 I tried my first Marijuana joint. The drinking became an every weekend experience with going to clubs hanging around malls and seeing who could get the drunkest the quickest. At school my grades was pretty normal but my passion was playing cricket. My love for the game slowly faded away as I was more interested in being with the “in crowd” and partying. The second time I smoked was the day before my Accounting exam I my matric year, the next day I couldn’t remember anything I learned through the year. After school I went to church every Sunday but quickly craved the attention of being around the scene of drinking and partying which lead to smoking and drinking daily. My life was out of control but with me being hard headed did not take the advice which was freely given to me by my father in that he said to me I am heading down a dangerous road. On New Year’s Eve 2000 I had my first encounter with hard drugs in the form of ecstasy and LSD and so the journey began. From using on weekends turned to using from Thursday right through to Sunday and by the time Monday came I had to drink as I had to just get rid of the hangover from partying. It wasn’t long after that that I was introduced to cat and this drug made me feel understood and that I could just be the extrovert I always wanted to be. This wreck less routine went on for a period of 6 years and came to an abrupt end as I had by this stage taken so called friend for granted and misused them I by this time also didn’t have work and so the friends became few. I stayed clean for a period of three months as I was on my own and one day stopping at a garage had my first encounter with cocaine, as if my life wasn’t in a mess I was hiding behind it as I would deflect and say that I was alright. My usage became a daily thing my life was out of control, I needed to fuel my fire with the drug that I became so in love with, I started stealing from my own family taking my mom’s card and spending their money which they worked so hard for. In 2008 I stole from the wrong person by taking my brother in-laws money which was intended to buy a wooden floor. I came home after using and he was waiting for me at the house, needless to say I got the hiding I deserved, respect was earned. I went into an inpatient rehab for 35 days and in there I only learned more about drugs and this was just an opportunity to get people off my back. Six months of being clean I went out drinking and sure as the sun shines in a day I went back to my drug of choice, I started off right where I left off, back on the downward spiral of manipulation, lying and stealing. I met a girl in 2009 and I thought this is my chance at having a shot at life and break free and be undependable. The relationship started off well and she introduced me to a cat dealer and so I changed back to my drug of choice, it became our lives and we consumed an insurmountable amount of drugs, in a period of 3 months over the festive season from getting a bonus as well as losing my job the next month and getting paid out my pension we spent R100 000. Our lives were falling apart at the seams. I went to I Mighty men Conference and gave my life to my saviour Jesus Christ I felt like I was a changed man, but still I had the yearning of giving in to the flesh and continued using. She gave me an ultimatum, either stop using or she leaves me, I’m sure that any wise person would have chosen to stop. I fell into depression and I was a victim of my circumstance, which I only later learned was by choice. My mom and dad was at their wits end with me and I left home and was now living in my car, the good hearted person that she is my younger sister took me into their home but still I hadn’t learned how to do otherwise and didn’t take the reaching hand that was stretched out to me. I robbed them and still carried on using until coming home one day and my bags was packed ready to be put out on the street again. I reached out to me ex’s father and he told me that Jesus would be my rehab, he gave me a scripture Matt 6:33, “but first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness and then all of these things shall be added unto to you. I thought what a crazy old man. It is here where my worst time addiction started. I met up with an ex-friend from school and he introduced me to the world of Meth and liquid e. My morals and my values took a back seat as we were robbing garages, road houses just to eat but to name a few. Until he got arrested with my car and it was impounded in the police yard. Now I was left to fend for myself and I started committing fraud by buying goods on other peoples account. I walked out of the one mall still saying that they would never catch me, famous last words. At the very next mall I got arrested and while sitting in a 2X4 I remembered my father’s words ruminating in my head, when you get arrested do not phone me. I spend the weekend in Germiston holding cells and by Monday when court date came I swallowed my pride and phoned my dad to bring me proof of residence. He was too late and I was reprimanded for another 7 days in Boksburg prison. The longest week of my entire life, my sisters was looking for me and when they finally found me and I saw them on the other side of the bars and saw what my addiction had done to their physical and emotional well being a cracked and told the truth of why I was in prison. The next Monday bail was posted and my family paid.

My family took me back in and said it was my final chance and that I would have to enter into recovery, I came to Mighty Wings Life Centre the first night only to see what the program had to offer and by the end of the night I had signed up for one year. I had to learn the hard way by selling my car to pay back my bail and to pay for my recovery. The first three months of my recovery I was just going through the motions and not using all the tools and help that was on offer. I started working the program and really pressed into my relationship with God and joined discipleship on Mondays. It was only at this stage that my life really started to effect change and so a new journey started. I was in a very safe place in that I started working for my brother in-law and with it the opportunity the fix the once broken relationship and also with my older sister. Nine months into the program I was blessed with my old job back but not starting where I left but in a lower position and by doing so humility was taught. I pressed in and 5 months later got the old position back. It was at this stage that I realised that what took me 5 years to build and destroy God had given to me in five months. My walk with Jesus has now become not a religious   doing but rather a living relationship. My relationships with all my family members has been restored and I have been given another chance at life, Myself and my dad couldn’t talk one word to each other and now it is a relationship where we can share life. By working the program I have realised that it was my own choices that lead me to the point in my life, I am not a victim of circumstance but a vessel of destiny. The step that has really helped me was step 4 in that I found it to be a step of inward transformation and looking much deeper within and finding freedom. I have learned that some situations is out of my control and that by me changing me others will change around me. By the grace of God He has brought me into a place of being a blessing rather than to take. I realised that I was created for Him by Him to glorify Him and the life I live is not my own. Phil 3:12,”not that I have already obtained all this, or have already reached my goal, but I press on to take hold of which Christ Jesus took hold of me”.  By working the program I have overcome financial giants by learning how to work with money, to put others first as they are also humans and that we can work together to finish the race.

To new comers on the program a word of encouragement would be to take the same energy and enthusiasm that was used to obtain the drug of choice and use it to work on yourself. Press in with everything work your stuff, dig deep and never give up as it isn’t an option
​

The old me

My name is Sean Thompson; I am a grateful recovering addict who struggles with drug and alcoholaddiction. I started using drugs and alcohol when I was 18 years old and my addiction lasted 19 years

The insanity of my life before recovery

My addiction started when I was in college, in what I thought was just innocent fun, having a few drinks with friends, often in parks and eventually night clubs and bars. Being under age at the time, I had a fake I.D made to gain entry to some of these places and continued to go out as often as I could. Even driving without a license was no worry to me.

I used to go out during the week too and get horribly intoxicated every time! I even started smoking cigarettes because I thought it was cool.

When I left college, I got my first job as a driver. One day my boss’ son came to the office and I was introduced to him. We got along well and he invited me to come and hang-out with him and his friends anytime if I wanted too. I had just moved to the area, so I was keen to make new friends.

So one Friday afternoon, I met up with my new friends after work and we started off by having a few drinks. A little while later, I noticed one of the guys rolling what I thought was a cigarette. It was actually marijuana and I was politely offered a drag or two. I had never smoked the stuff in my life and I thought why not? These guys were enjoying it, so I wanted some too! Needless to say, I had green fever within minutes because it was so potent!

The next weekend, we met up again and I was introduced to diet pills and my friends referred to them as “cheap uppers”! I wasn’t quite familiar with the terms they used but caught on quickly as my addiction started to unfold. I liked the “feel good” I got from these diet pills and was eventually using them on a daily basis at almost a box each day. The pharmacists started getting suspicious of me and started asking questions I didn’t like. So from one chemist to the next, I was buying these things in bulk so that I could stock up. I lost weight and my drive for life so fast but kept telling myself that I needed them to cope. I used them for absolutely everything I did. Nobody at the time knew of my addiction to diet pills because they were so cheap and not illegal. I wasn’t getting into trouble with anybody but myself! Little did I know that I was a full blown amphetamine addict? My addiction to diet pills lasted all of five years, during which time I smoked marijuana every night, thinking it would help me sleep, it only made things worse, yet the insanity continued.

I was soon introduced to cocaine by some thugs I met at a pool club and for about two years that became my drug of choice amongst the rest of the stuff I was using. Amongst all this chaos, I was drinking every night. I was invited to a rave party one weekend and was introduced to Ecstasy and being the overboard consumer I was, I became heavily addicted to Ecstasy, pure MDMA and GHB. I was using it 24/7 even during working hours.  

One evening I was too intoxicated to drive home so I went back to work and slept at my desk. The next morning I woke up to my boss unlocking the front door and when he came in he thought I had gotten to work early, I just went along with that. It wasn’t long and these shenanigans continued, therefore the quality of my work decreased and I was offered a job in P.E so in turn I resigned.

Life in P. E was great but the drinking continued without the drugs as I did not know where to buy the drugs. Needless to say I moved back to JHB after about 6 months and myself and my girlfriend at the time broke up. This through me into huge depression and I started using much more harmful drugs – anything I could get my hands on – LSD , Cocaine , Ketamine , Pure Ephedrine, Ecstasy, CAT, Rocks, Marijuana and any medication that made me high. My personal life crashed and I tried to commit suicide for the firsttime, it took two long years of misery to get to a better place.

I battled to find work for a while and one night I picked up drugs and the dealer asked me if I wanted to work for him. I jumped at the opportunity and quickly started selling drugs. Life seemed great as I was going out every night, partying up a storm and had an endless supply of drugs too. How delusional was I? These drugs were not mine, I had to sell them, it wasn’t long and I was in debt to the king pins of a well known security corporation and had to run for my life – literally. On the way back from a friend of mines house I wrote off my car because I was wasted, now I had no car to run with. The word on the street was that there was a hit on me. By this time I had been kicked out of my friend’s town house where I was living and was now on the street. I used to climb in through the window of my friend of mines restaurant at night and sleep on the couch and then slip out early in the morning to beg for food and money, then one morning a friend of mine told me that he heard about the hit on me and suggested I go with him to the coast to get away. The people I was working for soon tracked me down and I was chased out of a night club and I had to run for my life. I knew I had to pay these people back otherwise they were going to kill me. I managed to pay them back by borrowing money from my friend and I walked away from the “gang” life still very afraid.

I moved to JHB South and stayed with a friend of mine who also used drugs and we started using heavily together night after night and it was chaos. I started stealing from work to support my habit and was eventually fired.

This led me to my first rehab for one month. There after I moved back to my parent’s house and found a job at an engineering company as a Draughtsman. It was the highest paying job I have ever had and soon I relapsed and the using continued. I was spending R 800.00 per day on my habit and my family could see the destruction happening. I told them I was just paying off lots of debt. Eventually, on pay day’s I would buy myself expensive things like music equipment etc. to stop myself from spending the money on drugs , but was eventually selling those items at the pawn shops to get money and soon I banned myself from the pawn shops in another attempt to stop myself from using. The madness continued as I started borrowing money from the banks and that soon lead me into deep debt. After been fired form my new job for misconduct and violent behaviour, I moved to my sister’s house and tried to start my life over. I stole from my sister’s daughter and Pamela wanted to have me arrested. I begged her not to do it, and she told me that if I did not sign up at Mighty Wings she would have me arrested.

So I joined the program, and started working on my recovery. I landed an amazing job and my bosses supported me in my recovery. After about 8 months at Might Wings, I met a girl on the program and we started seeing each other, totally against the cornerstone rules of Mighty Wings. I was called into a meeting and denied everything. I left angrily and decided not to go back to Mighty Wings. Things got progressively worse at work and one day I got ill and was admitted into hospital. The doctors did not know what was wrong with me, but I was covered in sores from head to toe. They took lots of blood tests and I told the doctor that I was a drug addict and he said that it was the drugs that had done this to my blood and caused my liver and pancreas to almost fail. He also told me that if my condition does not improve, I have no more than two days to live or I would need a liver transplant. After hearing this I was depressed and thought I would end it in style so I phoned the drug dealer and used for three days in hospital. Miraculously, I recovered and was discharged form hospital. I went back to work and continued to use. Financially I was broke so I started stealing from work to support my habits. One day my boss noticed some of his things were missing and threatened to call the police, so I admitted to the theft and he booked me into an in patient rehab for two weeks. When I came out myself and my girlfriend continued to use and two months later I was fired. I booked myself into the same rehab for one month and I came out in February 2013 and started using again within two months. By May last year myself and my girlfriend broke up and I went into a downward spiral addiction including the abuse of my psych meds. On the 25thof May 2013 I tried to commit suicide and my sister found me, luckily there was a paramedic in unit number 1 in our complex who rushed to the scene and saved my life. I thank my sister for going to the extreme to save my life that day and all my other family that rushed to the scene to help clean up the mess. I was minutes away from certain death that day. I remember asking Jesus to come and take me home but then I realised if I died, Heaven was not going to be my home. I woke up the next evening in hospital where the madness continued. I was drinking wound cleaner to numb my mind!!!!!!! My brother in law – Wayne and my sisters came to take me out of hospital and moved me to their house where I would attempt to start over again. I soon moved back to my sister Pamela and could not shake the addiction on my own and eventually sold my phone for drugs. My sister had my arrested and I spent a week in jail.
I felt completely alone throughout my addiction and found myself without a place to stay more than once. Nobody wanted to know me anymore and everyone I called just never took my calls or said they would get back to me but never did. I was too ashamed to call my family for help as I had used them for ling enough. I realised how many bridges I had really burnt and how many people I had really hurt. My family was sick and tired of me and my lies and were also drained form all the chaos.

My relationship with God really began when I was in rehab for the first time in 2007. I gave my life to Jesus and I felt like a new person. I thought I was cured and swore blind that I would never use again. As my struggles continued, I always spoke to God when the going was bad, but when things were good I stopped going to Church and only sought God when I was in trouble.

I was really irritated with everybody around me and shirt tempered. I could never have a decent conversation without getting frustrated and aggressive because I was always in denial and lying 24/7. My lies ere catching up to me and I knew it, so I was always on the attack when people spoke to me. I treated my mom and dad with such disrespect that it sickens me to think about it.

I hit rock bottom when I was sitting in the Benoni holding cells waiting to go into court and I managed to borrow a cell phone from a guy inside and called my sister begging for her to drop the charges and she said NO. I realised then how alone I really was and not knowing what to do, I panicked. I started picturing the fact that my life is ruined I and didn’t want to accept it, but it was the truth and reality sunk in. my dreams changed from having big houses , fast cars , lots of money and beautiful women to just being able to buy an apple from the side of the road as a free man. All I could do while I was in jail was pray and tell other inmates about Jesus.

After a week in jail, I was diverted to Might Wings by the skin of my teeth. I was a nervous wreck though and didn’t know how I was ever going to come right. I went to see a doctor and diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I was put on even more powerful psych meds, which I ended up abusing and eventually relapsed on drugs and was sent to Enoch’s Walk for three months.


While I was there, I worked on myself by surrendering completely to the situation and worked on my relationship with God. I spoke to Him almost every second of the day and without Him, I would not be here today.

Matthew 11 verse 28-29 Jesus says “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you shall find rest for your souls”.

Whilst in Enoch’s Walk, I worked on my step 4 thoroughly and really dug deep – literally!!!! I am putting more effort into my recovery than ever before and I find that the more I put in, the more I am getting out.

Step 3 touched my heart, because I finally made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, because I can only ever be in recovery if I stop trying my way and do it his way.

God has helped me to surrender to a peaceful life and help me to communicate with love in my heart to all people. All my family relationships are better than ever and the two real friends I have are followers of Jesus Christ and we often talk of how amazing He is and what He has done for us in our lives.

I no longer walk in anger or hold resentments to past situations. God showed me some time back that I was carrying a lot of pride and judgement on my heart, since then I have made tremendous effort to let go of the past and forgive truthfully and move forward. Such peace I have attained from that. Although I am not healed, I am a work in progress.

Nowadays, I speak to God about everything and do not want to make any decisions without Him at all. I will rather wait than not know if something is from God and take a chance. By being patient, I found that God is always there, His timing is perfect and mine is always just a rush. I trust in Him for everything, and my favourite thing to do is praise and worship Him, at which time I just let go and it is amazing.

By working the program I am fining inner peace and now accept who I am. I am child of God and his plans for me are to prosper!!! I have realised that without Him I am nothing and without being the given the opportunity to come back to Mighty Wings, I would probably not be alive today. I am smiling everyday now and am truly grateful to be alive, alive in Jesus Christ!!! I do have potential in this life.

By working for Mighty Wings, it is helping me to embrace my recovery more than ever and I realise more and more each day how devastating addiction truly is.

To all the “new comers” out there – NEVER give up. There is victory if you want it and you are loved!!!

No matter what the situation, or how severe it is, there is always hope and you are not alone. You find yourself in a good place here at Mighty Wings, and we fight this fight together.

 
Ephesians 2:4-10 says “ But because of His great love for us , God , who is rich in mercy , made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are gods workmanship , created in Christ Jesus to do good works , which God prepared in advance for us to do.”