RYAN McMURRAY - TESTIMONY
ISAIAH 1 : 18
Come lets talk this over says the Lord, no matter how deep the slain of your sins. I can take it out and make you clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are slanted as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool.
And believe me ladies & gentlemen I am living proof of that scripture.
My name is Ryan I am 32 years old. I was an addict and alcoholic for about 12 years.
I grew up with my mother, brother and sister, we had a good loving home.
I started drinking in my school just to be cool and to fit in and then got involved in drugs just out of school. Before drinking and drugging got to heavy, I was actually quite clever. I did well at school and went on to study further and became a paramedic.
The drugging started out being a social enjoyable thing I did once a month, it then became once a week and eventually I was using once a day and then in the last 2 or so years of my addiction. I was constantly high all day every day.
Although the journey took 12 years to get to where it was it was not always an enjoyable journey. I would go for days at a time with no eating or sleeping. I was slowly killing myself and my body without realising it. I was using so much at stages that there were a couple of near overdose incidences and times that my body would be so mentally and physically exhausted that it would just shut down and I would have blackouts where I just collapsed, my eyes rolled back in my head, I would have a full seizure and my friends would just leave me till the next morning and then we would get up and carry on as if nothing happened. I went from a healthy 105 kg down to a walking withered away skeleton weighing 82 kg.
And through all of this, there were my sub-addictions going on such as gambling, pornography and lust .......
And naturally as the drinking and drugging got worse, so costing involved, which led me from a life of drink & drugs, to a life of drink, drugs and crime.
My life of drugs and crime took me down many long dark and dangerous roads. I went from using, to using and dealing to eventually using dealing and manufacturing and as follows I got involved in more crime and gang violence and that whole lifestyle.
There were many wrong avenues that this lifestyle had led me down and I had to live constantly looking over my shoulder and fighting for my life. I was mixed up in a real dog eat dog world.
The saddest part of all is that it wasn’t only me who had to live in fear but my mom and my family too, for years this resulted in me not having a relationship with my family. It got to a stage where I started carrying illegal firearms for my own safety.
At this stage my family were living a life where they were constantly waiting for a call to say either I had been arrested or I was dead. My life at this stage was a mess and God or religion was non-existent I was a cold heartless human being who had no feelings or emotions or conscience.
I hated my life so much so that it lead to numerous near fatal suicide attempts as cries for help and also self harm and mutilation was a form of pain relief for me. There were times my mom was phoned and she didn’t know if she would get home to find me dead or alive. There were times in hospital they didn’t know if, I was going to make it or not.
Just as I thought my life couldn’t get any worse it did, which I must say I now believe God’s intervention in my life and God answering both mine and my mom’s prayers , I got arrested. The night I was arrested I was like a high demon possessed monster on a down word destruction spiral. I was so bad that night that my mom actually prayed and asked God to please take me and to put an end to everything.
And that was the turning point in my life. I believe that God did answer her prayer that night as I was facing charges and a prison sentence of 20 years in jail. The reason I say prayers were answered that night is that after that night the old me died and in the months that followed a new me was born.
After having spent some time in prison, I was released on bail and with the help of my mom we decided to get me help and that’s when we found Mighty Wings.
And although it took some months for me to be able to live without having to look over my shoulder, I can say that Mighty Wings has been of the best things that has ever happened to me, they have helped me and given me the tools to work my recovery.
I have since given my life to the Lord and now attend church every week. I now do community projects and I am getting involved in prison ministry. Thanks to Mighty Wings I for the 1st time in years have an amazing relationship with an amazing mother and close family and a beautiful woman by my side.
Mighty Wings helped me get my life back. Working the programme has been incredible and the letting go and letting God which happens in Step 4 has changed my life. It has not been easy sailing. About six months into my recovery I had an alcohol relapse which really opened my eyes to the changes of letting my guard down but on the other hand my relapse gave me such a stronger will to do my recovery properly. It also made me realise that recovery is a life long battle.
It has been difficult for me for the first time ever to live an honest, decent, hardworking self-supporting lifestyle but it is the most rewarding feeling ever and with the help of Mighty Wings and the support of my family, I am getting there step by step, day by day and it would not be possible without God in my life. And by the grace of God, I got a suspended sentence and not jail time.
Since being in recovery and having given my life to the Lord, so many things have been restored. I now have a loving family again, two little gorgeous nieces who adore me and who I am now allowed to spend time with. I now work as a paramedic again and have my passion back and most importantly, I now have a relationship with myself and with God.
I have come to realise that recovery would not be possible without the Lord. I would not be where I am today if it was not for God’s intervention that near fatal and disastrous night I got arrested. I just want to thank my mom for standing by me through all these years and for never having given up on me through the good and the bad.
I would like to end by saying I am not yet where I need to be but by the grace of God and thanks to my mom, my sister my brother-in-law and my fiancé as well as the entire Mighty Wings team, I am no longer where I used to be.
Lastly I would like to end off with Isaiah 1vs 18 – 20:
“come let’s talk this over says the Lord, not matter how deep the slain of your sins , I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow, even if you are slanted as red as crimson I can make you white as wool.
“If you will only obey me, you will have plenty to eat.
“But if you turn away and refuse to listen, you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies. I the Lord have spoken”
Thank you ........
ISAIAH 1 : 18
Come lets talk this over says the Lord, no matter how deep the slain of your sins. I can take it out and make you clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are slanted as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool.
And believe me ladies & gentlemen I am living proof of that scripture.
My name is Ryan I am 32 years old. I was an addict and alcoholic for about 12 years.
I grew up with my mother, brother and sister, we had a good loving home.
I started drinking in my school just to be cool and to fit in and then got involved in drugs just out of school. Before drinking and drugging got to heavy, I was actually quite clever. I did well at school and went on to study further and became a paramedic.
The drugging started out being a social enjoyable thing I did once a month, it then became once a week and eventually I was using once a day and then in the last 2 or so years of my addiction. I was constantly high all day every day.
Although the journey took 12 years to get to where it was it was not always an enjoyable journey. I would go for days at a time with no eating or sleeping. I was slowly killing myself and my body without realising it. I was using so much at stages that there were a couple of near overdose incidences and times that my body would be so mentally and physically exhausted that it would just shut down and I would have blackouts where I just collapsed, my eyes rolled back in my head, I would have a full seizure and my friends would just leave me till the next morning and then we would get up and carry on as if nothing happened. I went from a healthy 105 kg down to a walking withered away skeleton weighing 82 kg.
And through all of this, there were my sub-addictions going on such as gambling, pornography and lust .......
And naturally as the drinking and drugging got worse, so costing involved, which led me from a life of drink & drugs, to a life of drink, drugs and crime.
My life of drugs and crime took me down many long dark and dangerous roads. I went from using, to using and dealing to eventually using dealing and manufacturing and as follows I got involved in more crime and gang violence and that whole lifestyle.
There were many wrong avenues that this lifestyle had led me down and I had to live constantly looking over my shoulder and fighting for my life. I was mixed up in a real dog eat dog world.
The saddest part of all is that it wasn’t only me who had to live in fear but my mom and my family too, for years this resulted in me not having a relationship with my family. It got to a stage where I started carrying illegal firearms for my own safety.
At this stage my family were living a life where they were constantly waiting for a call to say either I had been arrested or I was dead. My life at this stage was a mess and God or religion was non-existent I was a cold heartless human being who had no feelings or emotions or conscience.
I hated my life so much so that it lead to numerous near fatal suicide attempts as cries for help and also self harm and mutilation was a form of pain relief for me. There were times my mom was phoned and she didn’t know if she would get home to find me dead or alive. There were times in hospital they didn’t know if, I was going to make it or not.
Just as I thought my life couldn’t get any worse it did, which I must say I now believe God’s intervention in my life and God answering both mine and my mom’s prayers , I got arrested. The night I was arrested I was like a high demon possessed monster on a down word destruction spiral. I was so bad that night that my mom actually prayed and asked God to please take me and to put an end to everything.
And that was the turning point in my life. I believe that God did answer her prayer that night as I was facing charges and a prison sentence of 20 years in jail. The reason I say prayers were answered that night is that after that night the old me died and in the months that followed a new me was born.
After having spent some time in prison, I was released on bail and with the help of my mom we decided to get me help and that’s when we found Mighty Wings.
And although it took some months for me to be able to live without having to look over my shoulder, I can say that Mighty Wings has been of the best things that has ever happened to me, they have helped me and given me the tools to work my recovery.
I have since given my life to the Lord and now attend church every week. I now do community projects and I am getting involved in prison ministry. Thanks to Mighty Wings I for the 1st time in years have an amazing relationship with an amazing mother and close family and a beautiful woman by my side.
Mighty Wings helped me get my life back. Working the programme has been incredible and the letting go and letting God which happens in Step 4 has changed my life. It has not been easy sailing. About six months into my recovery I had an alcohol relapse which really opened my eyes to the changes of letting my guard down but on the other hand my relapse gave me such a stronger will to do my recovery properly. It also made me realise that recovery is a life long battle.
It has been difficult for me for the first time ever to live an honest, decent, hardworking self-supporting lifestyle but it is the most rewarding feeling ever and with the help of Mighty Wings and the support of my family, I am getting there step by step, day by day and it would not be possible without God in my life. And by the grace of God, I got a suspended sentence and not jail time.
Since being in recovery and having given my life to the Lord, so many things have been restored. I now have a loving family again, two little gorgeous nieces who adore me and who I am now allowed to spend time with. I now work as a paramedic again and have my passion back and most importantly, I now have a relationship with myself and with God.
I have come to realise that recovery would not be possible without the Lord. I would not be where I am today if it was not for God’s intervention that near fatal and disastrous night I got arrested. I just want to thank my mom for standing by me through all these years and for never having given up on me through the good and the bad.
I would like to end by saying I am not yet where I need to be but by the grace of God and thanks to my mom, my sister my brother-in-law and my fiancé as well as the entire Mighty Wings team, I am no longer where I used to be.
Lastly I would like to end off with Isaiah 1vs 18 – 20:
“come let’s talk this over says the Lord, not matter how deep the slain of your sins , I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow, even if you are slanted as red as crimson I can make you white as wool.
“If you will only obey me, you will have plenty to eat.
“But if you turn away and refuse to listen, you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies. I the Lord have spoken”
Thank you ........