Hi I am a recovering drug and gambling addict. I have been at Mighty Wings for 20 months and I am currently 10 months clean.
I started smoking dagga at the age of 13 when a friend’s mom allowed us to try it for the first time. I never believed that I would ever be addicted to hard drugs because I had seen the destruction my brother’s addiction had caused in my family. However dagga was not a hard drug. By the age of 15 I was smoking dagga every single day. I did well at school and was the captain of the rugby team, I also did well at varsity whilst smoking dagga. I was completely unashamed of this and everyone knew I smoked except my parents. I even started selling dagga at varsity. I actually believed that the smoking was assisting me and I never stopped to think what impact it was having on my life. All my friends were using CAT and kept offering me but I had always declined. One night at a party I broke up with a girlfriend and wanted to escape, so I asked my friend if I could try some CAT. This changed my life completely as I was instantly hooked.
I started using CAT to study and to give me energy when playing rugby, I would find any excuse possible to use and soon enough I was using every day. When I finished varsity I started my first real job as an auditor. I would constantly use at work to keep me focused, by this time I thought I may have a problem but I couldn’t do anything about it because I couldn’t face disappointing my family and I honestly believed that I performed better on the drugs. I stopped playing rugby and stopped socialising as I was constantly paranoid. This is when I started going to casinos to pass the time.
After a year of auditing I decided to join my brother-in-law in business. I was 22 years old and a director of a company, I really thought I was brilliant. What I failed to see was the person I had become. I was an impossible boss and very difficult to work with, I didn’t care about people or their problems and I was always quick to point out their faults. I was either angry or depressed. My family was so scared of me that they wouldn’t say anything about my behaviour out of fear of my reaction. I would blame my moods on the pressure I was under and I believed that no one understood what I was going through. I would spend my days using at work and spend my nights gambling in the casinos. I had very few friends but would tell my family I was spending time with friends just so I could spend hours in the casinos wasting money.
My rock bottom was when I had been using continuously for 5 day with no sleep. I was at the casino and I couldn’t leave. I had spent all my money and I stole money out of both our businesses and ended up losing R50,000.00 in one night. On my way home I blacked out and crashed my car. This was the first time I had ever blacked out and it really scared me. I went to my parents after this and asked them for help. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I knew how devastated they would be. It was also very difficult for my two sisters’ as the family has already been through this with my older brother, who is still in active addiction and currently in jail. I was nervous about recovery but they were terrified that I would go the same way as him. My parents found out about Mighty Wings and I decided to join the program.
Mighty Wings has changed my life in so many ways but most importantly it has given me the opportunity to reconnect with God., my spiritual journey has been amazing since being off drugs and I am so grateful to have a relationship with God.
However I did not believe that I was like all the other addicts. I was different and because I had never had a problem with alcohol I believed that I would drink again. I followed the program and went through all the motions but from day one I knew I would drink again one day, even if I had to wait a year or so. I simply didn’t believe that I would go back to drugs if I started drinking again, I thought it was just something they told us just in case. This attitude also affected my recovery because I was waiting to live life after I had completed my program.
After being clean for 10 months I decided that I deserved a drink, so I had a few beers. I then decided that I could go to the casino and gamble a little bit. I went to the casino and drank whiskey for most of the night, I spotted some people who were clearly using and I relapsed on CAT, I also lost another large amount of money and to top it off I wrote my car off on the way home and ended up in hospital. I had crashed into another car and could have seriously injured other person which terrifies me to this day. I had just thrown away 10 months of hard work away and I had gone full circle by having one drink. Just having that one drink will lead me straight down that path again and that is something I will never forget.
After my relapse I really took my recovery seriously. I worked hard on my program and I believe I am starting to see the benefits. I have stopped waiting to live life and I try to appreciate every moment. I play golf all the time and enjoy spending time with my family. I have new friends and strong relationships build on values and truth. I own and run two successful companies and enjoy watching them grow. I am playing rugby again which a long lost dream was before I came to Mighty Wings. I have amazing support in my family and our family relationships have grown stronger. Over and above this I now have God in my life, he has given me the strength to overcome anything. When I was on drugs I was always chasing something and was never satisfied. With God in my life there is an inner peace and acceptance. I can appreciate the small things and have a good laugh. I am no longer constantly scared, lonely or paranoid.
What I would say to a newcomer at Mighty Wings is that there is a full, happy and healthy life waiting for you, a life full of happiness and peace, a life where your goals are achievable and you are a success. All you have to do is make that choice.
Thank you
I started smoking dagga at the age of 13 when a friend’s mom allowed us to try it for the first time. I never believed that I would ever be addicted to hard drugs because I had seen the destruction my brother’s addiction had caused in my family. However dagga was not a hard drug. By the age of 15 I was smoking dagga every single day. I did well at school and was the captain of the rugby team, I also did well at varsity whilst smoking dagga. I was completely unashamed of this and everyone knew I smoked except my parents. I even started selling dagga at varsity. I actually believed that the smoking was assisting me and I never stopped to think what impact it was having on my life. All my friends were using CAT and kept offering me but I had always declined. One night at a party I broke up with a girlfriend and wanted to escape, so I asked my friend if I could try some CAT. This changed my life completely as I was instantly hooked.
I started using CAT to study and to give me energy when playing rugby, I would find any excuse possible to use and soon enough I was using every day. When I finished varsity I started my first real job as an auditor. I would constantly use at work to keep me focused, by this time I thought I may have a problem but I couldn’t do anything about it because I couldn’t face disappointing my family and I honestly believed that I performed better on the drugs. I stopped playing rugby and stopped socialising as I was constantly paranoid. This is when I started going to casinos to pass the time.
After a year of auditing I decided to join my brother-in-law in business. I was 22 years old and a director of a company, I really thought I was brilliant. What I failed to see was the person I had become. I was an impossible boss and very difficult to work with, I didn’t care about people or their problems and I was always quick to point out their faults. I was either angry or depressed. My family was so scared of me that they wouldn’t say anything about my behaviour out of fear of my reaction. I would blame my moods on the pressure I was under and I believed that no one understood what I was going through. I would spend my days using at work and spend my nights gambling in the casinos. I had very few friends but would tell my family I was spending time with friends just so I could spend hours in the casinos wasting money.
My rock bottom was when I had been using continuously for 5 day with no sleep. I was at the casino and I couldn’t leave. I had spent all my money and I stole money out of both our businesses and ended up losing R50,000.00 in one night. On my way home I blacked out and crashed my car. This was the first time I had ever blacked out and it really scared me. I went to my parents after this and asked them for help. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do because I knew how devastated they would be. It was also very difficult for my two sisters’ as the family has already been through this with my older brother, who is still in active addiction and currently in jail. I was nervous about recovery but they were terrified that I would go the same way as him. My parents found out about Mighty Wings and I decided to join the program.
Mighty Wings has changed my life in so many ways but most importantly it has given me the opportunity to reconnect with God., my spiritual journey has been amazing since being off drugs and I am so grateful to have a relationship with God.
However I did not believe that I was like all the other addicts. I was different and because I had never had a problem with alcohol I believed that I would drink again. I followed the program and went through all the motions but from day one I knew I would drink again one day, even if I had to wait a year or so. I simply didn’t believe that I would go back to drugs if I started drinking again, I thought it was just something they told us just in case. This attitude also affected my recovery because I was waiting to live life after I had completed my program.
After being clean for 10 months I decided that I deserved a drink, so I had a few beers. I then decided that I could go to the casino and gamble a little bit. I went to the casino and drank whiskey for most of the night, I spotted some people who were clearly using and I relapsed on CAT, I also lost another large amount of money and to top it off I wrote my car off on the way home and ended up in hospital. I had crashed into another car and could have seriously injured other person which terrifies me to this day. I had just thrown away 10 months of hard work away and I had gone full circle by having one drink. Just having that one drink will lead me straight down that path again and that is something I will never forget.
After my relapse I really took my recovery seriously. I worked hard on my program and I believe I am starting to see the benefits. I have stopped waiting to live life and I try to appreciate every moment. I play golf all the time and enjoy spending time with my family. I have new friends and strong relationships build on values and truth. I own and run two successful companies and enjoy watching them grow. I am playing rugby again which a long lost dream was before I came to Mighty Wings. I have amazing support in my family and our family relationships have grown stronger. Over and above this I now have God in my life, he has given me the strength to overcome anything. When I was on drugs I was always chasing something and was never satisfied. With God in my life there is an inner peace and acceptance. I can appreciate the small things and have a good laugh. I am no longer constantly scared, lonely or paranoid.
What I would say to a newcomer at Mighty Wings is that there is a full, happy and healthy life waiting for you, a life full of happiness and peace, a life where your goals are achievable and you are a success. All you have to do is make that choice.
Thank you